Funny Jokes

Girl- Today i was cooking chicken, when i added HARA DHANIYA, guess what happened.

Boy- Pata nahi, tum batao

Girl- Chicken start dancing and singing “HUM PE YE KISNE HARA RANG DAALA… MAAR DAALA-ALLAAHH…
Teacher: Did you father help your with your homework?

Student: No, he did it all by himself.

Funny Lalu found answer to the most difficult question ever: What came first- the chicken or the egg?

"Hum jiska order pehle dunga, vahi pehle ayega na!"

Teacher: "Use the word 'I' in a sentence."
Tommy:   "I is.."
Teacher: "No, Tommy, you must say 'I am'."
Tommy:   "Alright.  I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

Everyone made fun of PooPoo Boudreaux. They would all chant his name "PooPoo Boudreaux, PooPoo Boudreaux," and laugh and laugh! He finally had enough and decided to change his name. So, one day PooPoo paddled his pirouge down the Bayou to the clerk of court's office in Swampwater, Louisiana.
After hearing his name, the lady at the desk said that she could understand his wanting to change it, and what did he want to change it to?
"PooPoo Thibodeaux" he replied!
Knock knock
Who's there?
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework please Dad - I'm stuck!
One student fell into a cycle of classes, studying, working and sleeping.

Didn't realize how long he had neglected writing home until he received the following note:

"Dear Son, Your mother and I enjoyed your last letter. Of course, we were much younger then, and more impressionable. Love, Dad."
Q. Why did the balloon burst?

A. Because it saw a lolly pop!

Tawe pe pada popcorn uchalta kyo hai ?

Socho !!

Are yaar thik se socho !!

Nahi soch paye ?  Thik hai, jawaf chahate ho to

Khud baith ke dekh lo tawae par,

pata chal jayega.
Lady: Is this my train?

Station Master: No, it belongs to the Railway Company.

Lady: Don’t try to be funny. I meant to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi.

Station Master: No Madam, I’m afraid it’s too heavy.
Anantharaman Subbaraman arrived at Sharjah airport. He ended up waiting for his visa for about 2 hrs for the authorities to call his name.

Finally, he got fed up and went to them and asked why they haven’t called his name yet. They said that they have been calling him for the last hour and a half and were wondering why he hadn’t responded!

The reason was made clear when the immigration officer pronounced his name as: ‘Anotherman Superman’.
Jasmeet caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and low all around his living room.

Jasmeet : “What are you searching for?”

Santa : “Hidden camera!”

Jasmeet : “And what makes you think that there are hidden camera here?”

Santa : “That guy on tv knows exactly what I am doing. Why every few minutes he keeps saying, You are watching the Star World channel. How does he know that?”
Question: Dhoni asks Rohit to bring a Pepsi. Rohit brings the bottle, but takes it directly to Shewag.

Ans: Because Shewag is an opener.
Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist.
If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for seven years.

The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board overlooking an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.

The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.

Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.

The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump.

“Congratulations! You’re a free man. Just tell me why didn’t you jump?” asked the doctor.
To which the third patient answered, “Well Doc, I can’t swim!”