Jokes

 

Buntys marriage rules
 
Once Bunty asked Bubbly, "What is the secret behind your happy married life?"
 
Bunty said, "You should share responsibilities with due love and respect to each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems."
 
Bubbly asked, "Can you explain?"
 
Bunty said, "In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues where as my wife decides on smaller issues. We do not interfere in each other's decisions."
 
Still not convinced, Bubbly asked, "Give me some examples" Bunty said, "Smaller issues like which car we should buy, how much amount to save, when to visit home town, which Sofa, air conditioner, refrigerator to buy, monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not etc are decided by my wife. I just agree to it"
 
Bubbly asked, "Then what is your role?"
 
Bunty said, "My decisions are only for very big issues. Like whether America should attack Iraq, whether Britain should lift sanction over Zimbabwe, whether to widen African economy, whether Sachin Tendulkar should retire etc. Do you know one thing, my wife NEVER objects to any of these".
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Chicken Tandoori Issue
 
Gollu went to a famous Tandoori restaurant and ordered chicken tandoori. When it was time to server the dish the resturant boy said that there was a Cops in the same resturant and he is a regular customer and eats the same tandoori dish everyday. Hence being the last Chicken Tandoori, it would be servered to him. The boy advised Gollu to order another dish or any exclusive curry preperation and it would be served to him for free.
 
Gollu gets furious and refuses to order any other dish even if it was offered free. Then resturant boy tries to convince the Cops and offers him a free dish frm any of his exclusive curry. 
 
Cops also gets furious and refuses to order anything else. He gets up and walks over to the Gollu's table and says, "How dare you think about eating my Tandoori, this tandoori is made for me and I'm gonna eat it." He goes on saying that if Gollu breaks the Tandoori's wings to eat then he will break his arm. 
 
Gollu was silent for a moment. Suddenly he smiled and said " OK , so you say you will follow me. " Cops sayes "Yes, I will". Gollu puts  finger in the bird's rectum, and start licking it. After sometime Gollu says " Now follow me and drops his trouser."
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CHICKS NIGHT OUT
 
2 Chicks went out on weeknend with their boyfriends. While returning midnight they wanted to pee...
 
They noticed that the only place to stop was a cemetery. Scared and very drunk, they decided to go there anyway.
 
The first one did not have anything to clean herself with, so she took off her panties and used them to dry herself, then discarded them.
 
The second one not having anything either thought, "I'm not getting rid of my panties", so she used a ribbon from a wreath that she found.
 
The morning after, the two husbands were talking on the phone and one says to the other, "It seems that our wives were up to no good last night. My wife came home without any panties!"
 
The other one responded, "You're lucky, mine came home with a card stuck to her ass that read:-  We will never forget you!"
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Class Room Is Like A Train...!
 
Class Room Is Like A Train 
1st Two Benches R Reserved For VIP . . 
 
 
Nxt Two Benches R General Coach 
Then 
Last Two Benches R Vry Demanded. 
Bcz Its."SLEEPER COACH" :P :D
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College Girl And Fees Wala
 
College Girl Fees Counter Par Khadi Thhi
Fees Collector Se Boli: “Sir, Le Lo Na”
Sir: “2 Minutes Ruko Araam Se Lunga”
Ladki: “Arey Jaldi Lelo Fir Nahi De Paungi, Mera Period Shuru Hone Wala Hai“
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Computer School Joke
 
Teacher: Spell the word CAT. 
Student: C, A, T enter 
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Dangerous Sex
 
Morris, an 80-year-old millionaire becomes engaged to a beautiful 22-year-old model, Maria Gomez.
 
He goes to his doctor for a check-up a couple of weeks before the wedding date.
 
The doctor looks him over and says, "Morris, you seem completely healthy but I must tell you one thing."
 
"What's that?", asks Morris.
 
"At your age, sex can be dangerous, and you need to watch it, take care as it could be really deadly" the doctor replies.
 
Morris thinks for a minute and then says, "What the hell, if she dies, she dies."
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Dil Nazuk Aur Hath Kadak..!
 
Ak Baar Lift Mein Ak Aadmi Ka Haath Galti Se Ak Aurat Ke Boobs Par Lag Gaya.
Admi: “Agar Aap Ka Dil Aapke Boobs Ki Tarah Nazuk Hai To Aap Mujhe Maaf Kar Dena”
Aurat: “Agar Aap Ka Lund Aapke Haath Jitna Kadak Hai, To Mei Room No.202 Mein Thahri Hui Hoon.“
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Doctor and Patient
 
Patient: You couldn’t treat my malaria disease, don’t I have cancer? 
Doctor: No, why do you think that? 
Patient: Another doctor treated my friend as a malaria patient, but he died on cancer. 
Doctor: Relax, I don’t do much mistakes. If I treat anyone as a malaria patient, he always dies due to malaria.
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Doctor Joke
 
Nurse: Why are you sad today doctor?
Doctor: The patient I operated today afternoon died.
Nurse: Doctor, you didnt operate the patient today afternoon. You did a post mortem.
Doctor: Then who was the guy on whom I did a post mortem today morning?
 
 

 

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